Wednesday, 24 August, 2016
Inkheart on the red carpet
Dezember 2008. The adaption of Cornelia's book Inkheart celebrated its premiere in Berlin. Cornelia and her children Anna and Ben arrived by plane from Los Angeles, the director and the actors from other parts of the world.
Guesty: Come on, Insa tell them how big this cake was, tell them about the huge book made of chocolatecream and biscuit – uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
Insa: I haven't yet started talking, Guesty. – But Guesty is right, the birthday cake was an enormous monster of a chocolate thing. And Guesty – you guess – ate so much of it that he still is feeling sick. He just wanted to compete with Brendan Fraser: Who can eat more birthday cake? But Brendan is a big actor and Guesty is only a small book after all. You know what – Guesty tried to impress Eliza Bennett with it, I am sure.
By the way right now he is wondering whether she has fetched a cold as well. It was soooo cold in Berlin and Guesty got the sniffles. Had he known about the temperatures on the red carpet before he wouldn't have used all that tinsel and artificial snow spray to decorate his pages. He would have wrapped himself into several scarves. But he wanted to look handsome for Eliza ... I think he has fallen in love.
Guesty: No, don't you dare telling such stories. It is not true!
Insa: Oh, Guesty. At least you all know now, there was a birthday cake. After the movie premiere. In Cornelia's hotel. At Cornelia's birthday party. And at Anna's birthday party. For Cornelia and her daughter Anna were both born on 10 December. And Warner Bros. Germany arranged a little party. For Cornelia, for her family and friends, and of course also for the film team.
Guesty: I feel sooooooo sick
Insa: Well, Guesty,your own doing. If you hadn't eaten those loads of sausages and waffles on the Inkworld-Christmas-market before the movie had even started ... I told you you'll get burps.
Guesty: Yes, but during the movie I was quiet as a mouse.
Insa: Sure, because you got popcorn and lemonade for free; and because you were sitting only three tiers back from Eliza.
Guesty: Keep quiet! Don't tell them! You promised not to tell anyone.
And you are not Capricorn. You know, Capricorn is stinky vicious and never tells the truth. Don't you remember the scene when Capricorn reneges on his promise to ...
Insa: Oh, Guesty, will you please not give away everything!?!
Most of our English speaking friends haven't seen the movie yet. You'd rather tell them about how after the premiere Brendan hopped on stage and almost slumped off again.
Guesty: Hahaaaaaaaaa Just as it happened to Mo in the movie, when he almost slipped off the roof and ...
Insa: Guesty, there you go again. Stop giving away the movie!
Guesty: Awfully sorry
What about the fire jugglers? And the marten charmer with his little white "Gwin"?
Insa: That's all right, Guesty. You can tell them about that.
Guesty: Okay, well ... There was a charming, little Inkheart Christmas market, held right in front of the premiere movie theatre, along the red carpet - with hot wine punch and waffles and sausages and sugarroasted almonds and ...
Insa: Gueeeeeesty ...
Guesty: Oh - yes - sorry again - there were also those fire eaters and jugglers, and a snake charmer who actually was a marten charmer. And there was this huuuuge set of bookshelves, in front of which Cornelia and Brendan and Paul and Eliza (*sigh*) and Iain Softley signed the premiere guests' Inkheart copies, and ...
Insa: Guesty, change down.
Guesty: Yes, but wasn't it a thrill? Soooooo exciting - oh ... wait a ... start feeling sick again - ohhhhh, poor Guesty
Insa: Guesty, Guesty. The last appetizer at Cornelia's birthday party was too much for your paper stomach.
Guesty: I know But I was so frustrated, 'cause Eliza left the party and I didn't noticed. I just needed some soul food. And, into the bargain, Paul Bettany tried to steal the last canapé from under my nose - although he is such a beanpole. He does not have to grow anymore - in contrast to me The same with Brendan. What a giant. Tall as a tree. But I beat him at the cake eating contest. Ha!
Insa: Guesty, put the brakes on. That's all not so exciting for the people here.
Guesty: Oh, but the movie premiere was exciting, wasn't it? What a pity, Helen Mirren wasn't there. And Rafi Gavron ... the wonderful Farid. I would have loved to ask him to teach me how to do the dragon flame.
Insa: Guesty, that's the last straw!
Stop those movie spoilers!
Guesty: By the way, where have all those impudent guys gone, that bawled at Cornelia when she walked the red carpet? I want to kick them in the shins. Those mean lumps
Insa: Guesty, they were press photographers. They all needed a picture of Cornelia on the red carpet. It usually gets loud and hectic, 'cause they all worry about not getting a good photo.
Guesty: Nevertheless - they were nearly as bad as Capricorn's men.
And what a flurry of flashbulbs.
And poor Paul Bettany, who had no more hair on his head - unlike in the movie - and who certainly finally had a frosty head
Insa: Don't worry, Guesty. The actors are used to it.
Guesty: Oh, and how brave Eliza was standing there in the cold, with her beautiful dress, smiling at the cameras.
Insa: Yeeeeeees, Guesty, she was really brave...
Guesty: Wipe that smirk off your face
Insa: Why don't you tell them a little bit more about the moment after the movie premiere?
Guesty: You mean when the curtain closed? Oh yes, first the director Iain Softley was asked on stage. Next was Paul Bettany, who contritely admitted that he liked his German dub voice better than his own.
Insa: Yeah, and Brendan told us how he visited Cornelia years ago at her home in Hamburg, how he got to know Ben and Anna, and if they please kindly would stop to grow, for they were soooooooo tiny when he met them for the first time.
Guesty: Right. And Cornelia had to tell again the story of her melon foot - how she fell off the stage during the Bambi awards in November - and luckily did not strike anyone dead with her hurtling Bambi.
Insa: Well, for the next weeks Cornelia can put her foot up, since the US Inkheart movie premiere will only be in January.
Guesty: Yep! She'll fly back to LA to celebrate Christmas together with her family and friends. With cookies and gingerbread and stollen and cinnamon cocoa and ...
Insa: Gueeeesty ...
Guesty: Got it... Anything else to tell?
Insa: I guess they all received an impression of the movie premiere in Berlin, even if it is just a Chaos-Hurly-Burly-Guesty-Impression, with focus on culinary features.
Guesty: Oh well, anyway: enjoy the movie and don't forget your popcorn - prefer the salty, or just mix it - sweet and salty - mmmm, yummy- and gummi bears - and ice cream - and ...
Guesty: Oh – yes – I know - so in short: I hope you like the movie. And as for the dragon flame, I'm quite sure it will be just a matter of practice