The Dark Inside Me

Do you hear my whispers, 

Do you hear my screams, 

As I try to escape, 

Into my dreams.

 

I can hear the voices,

Inside my head, 

Sometimes lots of us, 

Wish we were dead. 

 

But not really, 

We wanna live, 

Guess sometimes we wish, 

Others weren’t alive. 

 

So many dark thoughts, 

Inside my head, 

Wish they were gone,

Wish they were dead. 

 

You are in my mind, 

And you’re in my head, 

I didn’t let you in, 

I thought you were dead. 

 

There’s not many ways to escape, 

Besides going insane, 

Try to hide in my dreams, 

Just trying to keep sane.

 

My head’s in the clouds, 

It’s full of fog, 

Lost all sense of time,

Out to keep a log.

 

My mind is floating, 

It’s drifting away,

In complete denial,

Of reality.

 

A single moment here,

A single moment there,

Freedom snatched and held,

Close and near.

 

I’d give anything, 

To spare them from the hurt,

To keep them from the pain,

The shit and the dirt.

 

Sweet innocent childhood,

I don’t remember it, 

It didn’t really exist,

Because of a life of shit.

 

Tears, falling tears,

Streak down their faces,

Scared and alone,

Always losing life’s races.

 

Do you hear me, do you hear them,

All alone, crying in the dark;

We used to be fires,

Now we’re barely a spark.

 

In front of all our faces, 

We hold a smiling mask,

Deflecting all the questions,

Just say we’re okay, if they ask.

 

We spend all our time,

Telling a lie,

Till we’re home by ourselves,

In a corner and cry.

 

So we scream to ourselves, 

In corners all alone,

And we’re sobbing when we ask,

Where is our home? 

 

Will they ever see us,

Curled up in the dark,

Trying to hide,

From the reality sharks.

 

Will they ever hear us,

Hear our crying plea,

Desperately crying for freedom,

Freedom for you and me.

 

Do you think they would remember us,

If we were simply dead and gone,

Or would we become nothing,

Not even a song.

 

Pretty little dark thoughts,

Fly through my mind,

So much darkness,

Sometimes all we can find.

 

Where did the light go, 

Where has it gone,

Will we ever find it,

Or is it waiting in our home.

 

So we’re softly singing,

In the dead of night,

Just keep singing,

It’s a quiet light.

 

Yes float away,

To the land of your dreams,

But try to be careful,

Nothing is as it seems.

 

Can you hear them,

Hear their lilting call,

The voices of the dark,

They sound so beautiful.

 

We spend all our lives,

Trying to hide,

We wait and we whisper,

Is it safe outside?

 

Has your heart ever hurt,

With a deep searing pain,

Broken hearted pain is real,

It’s not just in your brain.

 

Do you ever feel like,

You’re just spinning around, 

Trying to catch your shadow, 

Even though it’s stuck to the ground.

 

Do you know what it is to fly,

To glide and swoop and dive,

Such freedom and power,

In wonderful control of your life. 

 

It can’t be a dream, 

So full of detail, 

But then you wake up,

And it wasn’t real.

 

Oh the remembrance of flying,

A poetry of hidden means,

Wishing you could stay forever,

Hidden away in your dreams.

 

Do you see it,

The gentle twinkle,

Of falling tears,

As down they trickle.

 

My heart is so numb,

So ripped and raw,

The pain so constant,

A tearing saw.

 

Can you see my shattered heart,

The darkness smothering my spark,

Fading, dim, shards of light,

They grow, spread, whispers of dark. 

 

Shards of the light,

Whispers of the dark,

Your heart goes numb,

The light barely a spark.

 

I’m a broken warrior,

Fighting my demons alone,

Fighting a losing battle,

Just me, on my own.

 

And I just keep telling myself,

It’s okay, you’re alive and well,

But then another one of the says,

“For what, to go through F-ing hell?”